12 Truths About Parenting (from Family Life - How to Out-live Your Kids)

1. Parenting is “heart work.” It’s not just about outward obedience, it’s about the inward attitude of your child.

- The goal of Godly parenting is to a raise a child who can morally reason for themselves.

2. Parenting requires prayer, patience and perseverance.

3. Parenting is a relationship + rules.

- Relationship – rules = rebellion. Rules – relationship = rebellion.

4. Parenting is loving your child by disciplining your child when the rules are broken.

• Discipline and punishment are not the same thing.
• Discipline = correcting behavior/attitude.
• Punishment = wanting person to “pay” for mistake.

According to a recent study, young men with high self-esteem shared some common childhood influences. There were three major characteristics of their families.
(1) The high-esteem group was clearly more loved and appreciated at home than the low-esteem group.
 (2) The high-esteem group came from homes where parents had been significantly more strict in their approach to discipline. By contrast, the parents of the low-esteem group had created insecurity and dependence through their permissiveness. Their children were more likely to feel that the rules were not enforced because no one cared enough to get involved.
(3) The homes of the high-esteem group were also characterized by democracy and openness. Once the boundaries were established, there was freedom for individual personalities to grow and develop. Thus, the overall atmosphere was marked by acceptance and emotional safety. 

5. Parenting is sacrificially loving your child—doing what’s best for your child no matter what it costs you personally.

6. Parenting is understanding your child by being a student of your child; learning their likes/dislikes, personality traits, hopes/dreams, etc.

7. Parenting is unconditionally loving your child for who they are, not for what they do.

8. Parenting requires speaking absolute truth into your child’s life.

9. Parenting is understanding that the world does not revolve around your child – and teaching your children that as well.

10. Parenting is about failing, forgiving, and asking for forgiveness.

11. Parenting is being a parent, not a pal; being your child’s “pal” only leads to permissive parenting out of fear that to discipline will result in a broken/lost relationship.

In a 6-year survey at a West Coast university, it was found that self-confident, successful people had three things in common: They were loved and valued at home; their homes were democratic; their parents were not permissive. 

12. Parenting is putting your relationship with God, and then your spouse, ahead of your relationship with your child.